15 Things That Terrify Me

*4-Minute Read*

(Photo Credit: New York Times)

We all have fears. I don't care if you're Superman, Voldemort, or a tarantula. Even Tobias Eaton had four different fear simulations in Divergent. Idk why I felt the need to write mine out here. Maybe it was because it felt a little therapeutic. 

1) Asymptomatic Illnesses
It's depressing to hear those stories of people who go to the doctor, believing they have a minor health problem, and they walk out with the news that they have stage four cancer. The fact that something deadly is lurking around inside one's body and isn't spotted until it's too late is the epitome of unfairness. 

2) Death
There is this indescribable level of sorrow when you lose a loved one. It's never easy, and you know it'll happen again and again. If it doesn't, it's because you're the one who has passed. And the scary thing about dying is the unknown. Is there a heaven and a hell? If so, am I going up? It makes me reflect upon my whole life.  

                          
3) Getting Emotional in Public
Even at funerals, I feel so uncomfortable. You're supposed to feel all sorts of emotions and express them, but it's difficult to remember this when among a crowd. I always want others to see me at my best, and I certainly feel like I'm at my worst when I'm having a breakdown. 

4) Failure 

We've all failed at something, whether it be trivial or not. Like I just said, I always want others to see me at my best. I also don't want my self-esteem (something I already struggle with) to take a hit. Not earning an achievement is a tough, large, bittery pill to swallow. 

5) Trusting The Wrong Person
My gut instinct about people tends to be spot-on, so this hasn't happened to me often. But, when it has, it's the worst feeling. It's a betrayal that makes me feel uneasy. What will they do with that private information now? And is there anyone I am 101% sure that he/she would never do the same?

6) Never Reaching My Career Goals

I worked for 3.5 years at a rigorous university for my bachelor's degree, and I'm almost finished with my master's degree. Having fun experiences while learning new things is great, but I do hope it'll result in a career I enjoy. It'll feel like a major reward for all that effort. 

7) Glass Floors

Even though I was already on the 100-and-something floor of the Willis Tower (though I still call it the Sears Tower) in Chicago, I couldn't go into the glass boxes they have on one side of the building. It just seems less reliable than a regular floor, like it'll shatter at any moment.  

8) Suspension Bridges

These are even worse than glass floors because the unsteadiness is obvious. Unless it is just a few feet off the ground (Are there any like that?), I don't understand why people cross them. 

9) Our Government

Though I do have concerns at the present time (Who doesn't?), it's more of the "what ifs" that scare me. All of a sudden, the system could replicate North Korea. I mean, look at what happened to Venezuela. 

10) World War III

I've read a lot of memoirs and historical fiction novels set in World War II. Thus, if World War III would begin in America, I'm moving to England, Australia, or some other country where English is also the mother tongue. Staying would not only risk my life, but it would risk my happiness and well-being.     

11) Getting Stuck in a Small Space

I've always been one of those people who has this invisible box of personal space, but I didn't know if I was truly claustrophobic until I was 17 years old. I was getting an MRI for the first time. My face wasn't even in the machine, but it was close enough for me to feel that the walls were closing in on me. This fear would be even more apparent if I was stuck in that kind of situation. 

12) Elevators

There's three main reasons why:

One - It gets claustrophobic when too many people are smushed in it.

Two - You can get stuck in one.

Three - It could pull a "Tower of Terror" on you.               

13) Incarceration

It's not just the lack of personal space, it's the lack of being able to leave situations. You can't go home, go to the grocery store to get better food, or possibly even avoid a dangerous inmate. And we all know that COVID-19 has only risen in prisons since it began.  

14) Worry-Free Moments

This may sound strange, but I'm unnerved when there's no issue at the center of my mind. Because what if I'm forgetting about something important?     

  

15) That No One Will Remember Me

Watching the movie Coco didn't help. I want to leave a mark on this world, be known somehow. I'm just not sure in what kind of way yet. 

Even if you are an anxious soul (like me), do not let your fears define you. We all have faced them and gotten good outcomes as a result. If anything, let those moments define you.

- Liv 

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