100 At Least You Didn'ts
*4-Minute Read*
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| (Photo Credit: Pinterest) |
We all just have those bad days. We oversleep and miss our final exam. We fall down a flight of stairs. We get stuck on a highway-turned-parking lot. I already wrote "14 Examples of Human Imperfection," which serves as a reminder that even successful public figures have flaws. But what do everyday people confess to doing? I scoured the web and found these gems (though some have been altered).
1) Microwave a thermometer,
2) Microwave a spider,
3) Argue with a microwave,
4) Pull off someone's wig,
5) Spray yourself with cooking oil,
6) Staple your foot,
22) Injure yourself while playing a video game,
3) Argue with a microwave,
4) Pull off someone's wig,
5) Spray yourself with cooking oil,
6) Staple your foot,
7) Superglue your feet together,
8) Superglue buttons on your face,
9) Kick a hamster ball,
10) Fall into a trash can,
11) Sit on a bunch of baby wasps,
8) Superglue buttons on your face,
9) Kick a hamster ball,
10) Fall into a trash can,
11) Sit on a bunch of baby wasps,
12) Believe that frozen food never goes bad,
13) Believe that an airsoft gun shoots just air,
14) Believe that Spiderman is based on a true story,
15) Believe that Tokyo is in China,
13) Believe that an airsoft gun shoots just air,
14) Believe that Spiderman is based on a true story,
15) Believe that Tokyo is in China,
16) Believe that Japanese and Korean are the same language,
20) Walk into a door frame,
21) Put nail polish in a dog's ear,
17) Believe that Dumbledore is a dog breed,
18) Believe that adults don't get chickenpox,
19) Believe that left-handed people can't clean windows,
20) Walk into a door frame,
21) Put nail polish in a dog's ear,
22) Injure yourself while playing a video game,
23) Slap yourself in the face,
24) Punch yourself in the face,
31) Douse yourself with boiling water,
32) Rip out all your eyelashes,
24) Punch yourself in the face,
25) Kiss a tree,
26) Blow out your eardrum,
27) Trip over a dog,
26) Blow out your eardrum,
27) Trip over a dog,
28) Forget that there are 26 letters in the alphabet,
29) Forget that you have to put a space after a comma,
30) Forget that all beverages (except water) have calories,
31) Douse yourself with boiling water,
32) Rip out all your eyelashes,
33) Light someone's tie on fire,
34) Eat soap,
35) Eat expired chocolate,
36) Eat your scabs,
37) Eat crayons,
38) Eat a paintball,
39) Eat glue,
40) Eat a bug,
41) Eat plastic,
42) Eat mold,
43) Headbutt a car,
44) Claim that a video was photoshopped,
45) Give a couple a fork as a wedding gift,
44) Claim that a video was photoshopped,
45) Give a couple a fork as a wedding gift,
46) Mistake someone's boyfriend for her son,
47) Mistake a water bottle for your cell phone,
48) Mistake maggots for rice,
49) Dislocate your hip while seated,
50) Clip your toenails while in flight,
51) Climb 30 flights of stairs,
52) Drop your keys into the sewer,
53) Drop a plate on someone's foot,
54) Drop a cement block on your foot,
55) Drop mashed potatoes into a fish tank,
56) Drop cigarette butts into a toaster,
57) Drop thumbtacks all over the floor,
58) Drop a bag into a water-filled gutter,
59) Call 911 in your sleep,
60) Crash your bike into someone's screened porch,
61) Refer to a baby as "demon spawn,"
62) Use bug spray instead of hairspray,
63) Use whiskey instead of cologne/perfume,
64) Smell someone's hair,
65) Leave all your shopping bags on the train,
66) Just realize why the Kangaroos in Winnie the Pooh are named Kanga and Roo,
67) Get an incorrectly spelled word tattooed on your lower back,
68) Get trapped in an elevator for six hours,
69) Get trapped in a porta potty for an hour,
70) Get a moth stuck in your ear,
71) Get a cricket stuck in your ear,
72) Get scared of your own shadow,
73) Get six puncture wounds on your hand,
74) Sneeze during a blood test,
75) Squirt lotion in your face,
76) Run with untied shoelaces,
77) Face-plant on a treadmill,
78) Face-plant into a cactus,
79) Try to take a screenshot of your reflection in the computer screen,
80) Fight at a funeral,
81) Steal from a church,
82) Spill soup on your printer,
83) Spill flour all over the floor,
84) Spill an entire bottle of olive oil,
85) Bite through your lip,
86) Miss your flight by only one minute,
87) Miss a college interview,
88) Plank on top of a moving car,
89) Look for a friend on Craigslist,
90) Iron clothes on your stomach,
91) Roll off a trampoline,
92) Roll off the top bunk,
93) Lose your car,
94) Break someone's cheekbone,
95) Break both of your arms,
96) Put a zip tie on your finger,
97) Burn down one of the oldest trees in the world,
98) Cut yourself with child-proof scissors,
99) Cut yourself with a plastic knife,
100) Shove a thermometer in your ear.
While experiences like these are frustrating, try to laugh about them after the fact. It makes life a little bit better.
- Liv
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